施洛普斯克 东欧
1919年
我在故乡施洛普斯克 In old country of Schlupsk,
是一名挖沟工人 I am ditch digger.
日子不太好过 It is not always great.
生活很艰苦 Life is difficult.
但某天 But then one day,
神给了我一个奇迹 Hashem gives me a miracle.
她名叫莎拉 Her name is Sarah.
她很强壮 She is strong
而且牙齿都还在 and she has all her teeth,
上下排都好好的 top and bottom.
我立刻决定向她示爱 I decide at once to woo her.
外语
你常来这里吗？
不常 食物太贵了
而我一贫如洗
我失败了 Wooing fails,
但我决意要赢得她的芳心 but I am determined to win her.
于是我每天挖两倍的沟 Every day, I dig twice the ditch.
那是我人生中最棒的夏天 It is greatest summer of my life.
我们有好多共通点 We have so much in common.
她最爱的颜色是黑色 我也最爱黑色 Her favorite color black. My favorite color black.
她父母遭哥萨克人杀害 Her parents murdered by Cossacks.
我父母也被哥萨克人杀了 My parents murdered by Cossacks.
我注意到她的一个美好的小习惯 I notice nice little thing about her.
她总是以同样的方式打喷嚏 She always sneeze same way.
连打四次 Four time.
非常可爱 Is adorable.
有时候 我们想独处 Sometimes, when we want to be alone,
就会去一个非常特别的沼泽 we go to very special bog.
告诉彼此自己所有的希望与梦想 We tell each other all our hopes and dreams.
你保证不笑我？
我保证
有时会想像自己努力工作
存钱后变得非常有钱
多么有钱？
买得起自己的墓碑那么有钱
天啊
你的梦想是什么？
总有一天 在我死前‥
我想喝喝看‥
气泡水
感受那些气泡搔痒着我的舌头
人家听见我们这么说
肯定觉得我们疯了
我知道让我俩实现梦想的方法
怎么实现？
携手努力
我们在全镇的见证下完婚 We have wedding in front of whole town.
神保佑我们‥ Hashem blesses us.
哥萨克人 For a bit.
保佑了一会儿
我们被哥萨克人袭击 We are attacked by Cossacks.
嗜血 嗜杀犹太人的俄国疯子 Bloodthirsty, Jew-hungry,
喝伏特加喝得醉醺醺 Russian maniacs drunk from vodka.
犹太人 Jew!
哥萨克人将我们的世界夷为平地 The Cossacks destroy our whole world.
但是我们是格林鲍姆一家 But...we are the Greenbaums.
我们很坚强 We are strong.
只要团结 我们能突破万难 And together there is no stopping us.
我俩持续奋斗 直到实现美国梦 We keep fighting till we have American dream.
来吧 把这些蠢波兰佬撵出去 All right, let's get these dumb Polacks outta here.
跟哥萨克人比起来 Compared to Cossacks,
美国人很善良 Americans very kind.
好了 走这边 脏犹太人 快点 All right. This way, you filthy Jews. Let's go.
我在泡菜工厂找到了一份好工作 I find good job in pickle factory.
一间很好的犹太公司 A good Jewish business.
工头不让我调盐水 The foreman will not let me mix salt.
也不让我处理小黄瓜 Or sort cucumber.
他让我用棒子追赶老鼠 But he says I can chase rats with club
每打死十只 他就付我五分钱 and he will pay nickel for every ten Herschel smash.
这份工作称不上完美 It is not dream job.
但很感谢有机会证明我的价值 But I am grateful for chance to prove my worth.
来买气泡水 只要一枚闪亮的五分钱 Get your seltzer water here! Just one bright, shiny nickel.
某些东西仍遥不可及 Some things still out of reach.
气泡水 来买气泡水喔 Seltzer water. Get your seltzer water!
就是你 先生 今天来杯气泡水吧？ Yeah, you, sir. Seltzer water today?
男士只要一枚闪亮的五分钱 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the men.
女士只要一枚光亮的五分钱 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the ladies.
但我们日复一日 努力工作并存钱 But over time we work and save.
我实现了莎拉的愿望 I grant Sarah's wish.
一块美丽的格林鲍姆家族墓地 A beautiful Greenbaum family plot
供我们长眠 for us to share.
长相厮守 Forever.
接着 神给了我们最大的奇迹 Then Hashem gives us biggest miracle of all.
一天晚上 我向莎拉‥ So one night to Sarah
许下一个誓言 I make this vow.
我们的孩子会坚强壮大 Our child will be strong.
孩子的孩子也会坚强壮大 And our child's child will be strong.
我们的家庭会繁荣昌盛 Our family will prosper.
一百年后 And in 100 years,
格林鲍姆家族将会强盛发达 the Greenbaums will be powerful.
功成名就 Successful.
成为这片土地的最强大的家族 The strongest in the land.
一天 一切都变了 And then one day,everything changed.
注意‥ Attention!
这间工厂被查封了 This factory has been condemned.
查封
首都泡菜公司
纽约布鲁克林 一百年后
－可恶 －讨厌 - Damn it. - Shit.
我们永远找不到了 兄弟 Dude, we're never gonna find this, bro.
不会 一定在这边 No, it's definitely this way.
快跑啊 Let's go!
欧米克朗科技
各位 请安静下来 Please! Please! Settle down.
基本上 泡菜盐水 将他完美地保存下来 Essentially, the pickle brine preserved him perfectly.
即便过了一百年 他也丝毫没有变老 It's been 100 years, but he hasn't aged a day.
－哪有可能啊 －你真以为我们会相信？ - That's impossible. - You don't honestly expect us to buy that, do you?
这有什么科学根据？ What's the science behind it?
请听我解释 Please, let me explain.
科学家解释了 The scientist explains.
他的逻辑很清楚 His logic is good.
每个人都很满意 It satisfies everyone.
－没错 －很合理 - Oh, yes. - It makes sense.
－完全合理 －解释得非常清楚 - Absolutely. - Very clear.
但是‥ But...
我很难过 I'm very sad.
世界完全不同了 The world has changed.
我熟悉的一切都消失了 Everything I know is gone.
而且‥ And...
大家都走了 ...everyone.
莎拉格林鲍姆
我很遗憾 赫歇尔 I'm so sorry, Herschel.
你会再查一遍的 You will check again.
我们已经查过两遍城市记录了 We already checked the city records twice.
她没有被盐水保存 She wasn't brined.
她已过世八十年了 She's been dead for 80 years.
你会再查一遍的 You will check again.
我们已经查过了 We already checked.
我的莎拉走了 My Sarah is gone.
我们的孩子也走了 Our child is gone.
我一无所有 I have nothing.
后来 我得知了一个好消息 Then I get some great news.
好消息 赫歇尔 Great news, Herschel.
我们努力找了找 It took a little bit of doing,
找到了你的一位 还在世的亲人 but we were able to track down a living relative.
我还有家人？ I have family?
对 Yes.
你的曾孙 A great-grandson.
幸运的是 他就住在布鲁克林 And, as luck would have it, he lives right here in Brooklyn
而且他跟你同龄 and he's exactly the same age as you.
他叫做班恩格林鲍姆 His name is "Ben Greenbaum."
我们现在就联络他 And we're contacting him right now.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我兴奋至极 忘了所有的痛苦 I am so excited I forget all my misery.
就算我还没见到班恩 Even though I have not met this Ben,
也能在脑海中看见他 I can see him in my mind.
他会像我对莎拉发的誓那样 He will be just like how I vowed to Sarah,
强盛发达 功成名就 powerful.Successful.
是这片土地的最强大的人 The strongest in the land.Bless you.
抱歉 请问一下 Oh, I'm sorry.Excuse me.
格林鲍姆 Greenbaum.
我是 Yeah.
格林鲍姆 Greenbaum.
格林鲍姆‥ Greenbaum!
好吧 All right!
这太疯狂了 This is nuts.
这一切对你来说肯定很疯狂 It must be so crazy for you.
非常疯狂 Very crazy.
我也觉得很疯狂 Crazy for me, too, man.
你可以离开吗？ 想跟我回公寓吗？ Are you allowed to leave?Do you wanna come back to my apartment?
－非常想 －好 我们走吧 - Very much. - All right. Let's go.
对 我会照顾他 我是他的曾孙 Yeah, I got him. I'm his great-grandson.
所以他要跟我住一段时间 谢谢 So he's gonna stay with me for a bit. Yeah. Thank you.
欣赏一下吧 Take it in.
很酷 对吧？ Cool, huh?
借过 Make way.
那是电动滑板车 It's a scooter.
其实满好玩的 They're actually pretty fun.
我等不及带你认识未来世界了 Anyway, I can't wait to show you, like, the future.
很多超酷的东西 你会喜欢的 There's so much cool shit, man. You're gonna love it.
别紧张 这是计程车 It's cool, man. It's a cab.
会带我们回公寓 上车吧 It's gonna take us back to my apartment. Hop in.
没事啦 It's all right.
对 爬进去 就是这样 Oh, yeah, crawl in.There you go. You got it.
我们要去布鲁克林 谢谢 We're going to Brooklyn, please. Thank you.
我们到了 朋友 Here we are, man.
甜蜜的家 Home, sweet home.
你看喔 Hey, check this out.
艾蕾莎 开灯 Alexa, lights.
挺酷的吧？ Pretty cool, huh?
这全都是你的吗？ All this yours?
对 当然我不是屋主之类的 Yeah. I mean, I don't own it or anything like that.
我的确独自住在这儿 我很常在家工作 I do live here by myself. I work from home, though, a lot.
老实说 有个人一起住也不赖 It would be nice, honestly, to have someone around.
你想在这儿待多久都行 So you can stay here as long as you want.
我不想成为你的负担 I do not want to be burden to you.
不负担 赫歇尔 It's not a burden, Herschel.
完全不会 说真的‥ At all. I mean...
真惊讶你还活着 I'm amazed you're alive.
我从未想过能有机会 再见到家人 所以‥ I really never thought I would get a chance to meet another Greenbaum. So...
我也从未想过 Neither did I.
你肯定渴了 You must be thirsty.
你被腌了一整个世纪 I mean, you were brined for, like, a century.
泡在盐巴里 对吧？ And there's salt in brine, right?
所以你肯定挺渴的 So you must be pretty parched, to say the least.
我拿点儿什么给你喝吧？ Can I get you something to drink?
澳洲胡桃奶 还是腰果奶？ Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk.
我还有豌豆奶 豌豆现在也能挤成奶 I got pea milk. They're milking peas now.
现在什么都能挤成奶 老兄 They're milking everything these days, dude.
叫得出名字的都能挤成奶 You name it, they're milking it.
我有薄荷茶 还有红茶菌 I got mint tea. I have kombucha.
－红茶菌？ －对 - "Kombucha"? - Yeah.
发酵的某种东西 It's fermented... stuff.
我还真不知道这是什么 Honestly, I don't even know.
超难喝 但非常健康 Tastes nasty. But it's very healthy.
－要来一点吗？ －不用了 - Would you like some? - Is fine.
医院的人把喝的打进了我的手臂 They inject drink into my arm in hospital.
－所以我不渴 －好吧 - I am fine. - Fair enough.
我肯定能招待你一点儿什么 There must be something I can get you.
要喝气泡水吗？ Would you like some seltzer?
你有气泡水？ You have seltzer.
我天天都喝气泡水啊 小伙子 Oh, I got seltzer for days, son.
我自己有一台气泡水机 说真的挺酷的 I got a whole seltzer machine. It's pretty cool, actually.
把水装满 Ya just fill this up there.
像这样 把气瓶装上去 That's it. You put in the cartridge.
气瓶 "Cartridge."
接着按下按钮 给自己来杯气泡水 And you just press that button. Makes you seltzer.
－按下按钮 －没错 -Press button. -Exactly.
你想按吗？ You wanna press it?
你愿意让我按气泡水的按钮？ You'll let me press seltzer button?
是啊 这是一件大事 但我们是家人 Yeah. It's a pretty big deal, but we're family.
所以你可以按气泡水按钮 So you can press the seltzer button.
尽量按吧 Knock yourself out.
好耶 Yeah!
就是这样 你在做气泡水 There you go. You're seltzering.
很酷吧？ Pretty cool, huh?
－好多泡泡 －超多泡泡 - The bubble. - So many bubbles.
然后 Well...
你一杯 我一杯 One for you. And one for me.
干杯 Cheers.
敬生命 L'chaim.
是啊 Yeah.
很多泡泡 Lots of bubbles.
太疯狂了 Crazy.
你一定很难适应吧 This must be very overwhelming for you.
要消化的有点太多了 It's a lot. It's a little much.
但我想你会觉得 其实未来的东西还满酷的 But I think you'll find there's actually, like,some pretty cool stuff about the future.
没错 而且不只如此 Oh, yeah. Exactly. Not just that.
我知道你还会喜欢什么 Uh, I know what else you might like.
你喜欢音乐 对吗？ You like music, right?
－对 －看好了 -Yes. -Watch this.
艾蕾莎 播放‥ Alexa, play...
经典老歌 oldies.
为您找到了经典老歌电台 Here's a station for you. Oldies.
很酷吧？ Pretty cool, huh?
这是个立体音响 播放网路上的音乐 It's a stereo,and it plays music from the Internet.
从这两个喇叭播放 It comes through these speakers.
满好听的吧？ Pretty good, huh?
好歌 看好了‥ It's a good song.
是你唱的 It's you. It's you singing.
不是 我在对嘴 你也来吧 No, I'm lip-synching. Get in there.
－唱吧 －不用了 - Get in there, man. - It's okay.
－来嘛‥ －没关系 - It's okay. - Get in there.
说你会的‥
我看你跳舞就好 I watch you dance.
我在这年代是满厉害的舞者 I'm a very good dancer for my time.
来吧 一起跳呀‥ Come on. Get in there.
我知道你也想跳 Come on. Get in there. I know you want to.
好啦 Yeah.
很好啊 Oh, there you go.
我想自从你上次看到以来 布鲁克林可能改变了很多 Brooklyn's probably changed a lot since you last saw it,
披萨好吃吧？ Good pizza, huh?
－他们是一对？ －是啊 - They are couple? - Yeah, yeah.
跨种族的伴侣 现在完全没问题 Interracial couples totally cool now
在美国部分地区没问题 in parts of the country.
你看 双胞胎 Yeah, check it out.Twinsies.
好棒的衣服 是古着吗？ Hey, nice clothes. Is that vintage?
好吃吧？ Good, huh?
还有犹太食品认证 Kosher, too.
这是电动滑板车 This is a scooter.
你双腿健在 不需要这种东西 You have legs. You do not need this thing.
这句话完全不恰当 That is a weirdly inappropriate thing to say.
你有几双鞋？ How many pairs of shoes you own?
可能七双吧 Um, like seven, maybe?
七双 几双袜子？ Seven. How many sock?
２０到２５双 I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks.
２５双袜子 ２５额 Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five.
很多袜子 It's a lot of socks.
你只有两只脚 对吧？ You only have two feet, right?
只有这两只啦 No, it's just these.
班恩格林鲍姆 ２５双袜子的主人 Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock.
这在现代很正常 It's pretty normal for today.
告诉我 你做什么工作？ Tell me, what is it you do for job?
让我猜猜 你是个医生 Wait, let me guess. You're a doctor.
不对 你是个律师 No. You're a lawyer.
都不是 快猜到了 No.Close.
接案行动应用程式开发员 Freelance mobile app developer.
什么？ What?
直接给你看比较清楚 来吧 It's easier if I show you.Here, come on.
你肯定会觉得很”炫” 就是很棒的意思 You're gonna think it's dope. Which means "good."
你看 来吧 Check it out, man.Go.
神奇的长方形物体 是你做的吗？ A magic rectangle. You make this?
不是 平板电脑不是我发明的 我也希望是我 No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though.
但我先问你 But let me ask you this,
在人们买东西之前 before people buy something
会希望先知道什么？ what's something they wish they knew?
肉死了多久了？ How long has meat been dead for?
没错 此外 人们也想知道‥ Yeah, that.Also, they want to know
自己购买商品的公司 是否合乎道德 whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical.
－是吗？ －是的 - They do? - Yes.
这叫做”良心消费” 现在很流行 They do. It's called "conscientious shopping." It's very popular.
我的程式能轻松做到这点 My app makes it very easy.
只需要扫描一件产品 All you do is, you scan a product.
程式会告诉你 该公司是否合乎道德 And it tells you whether or not the company is ethical
分析产品的碳足迹和劳工政策 by analyzing its carbon footprint,its labor policies,
还有一堆其他的细节 评出分数 and a bunch of other things and it gives you a score.
你看 Check it out.
全绿食品新鲜羽衣甘蓝脆片
高道德
９１分 91.
这些甘蓝脆片会特别好吃 These kale chips are gonna be extra delicious
因为我知道它很道德 because I know how ethical they are.
感谢有布普巴普 Thanks to Boop Bop.
－布普巴普？ －对 - "Boop Bop"? - Boop Bop, yeah.
－这叫布普巴普 －为什么？ - It's called "Boop Bop." - Why Boop Bop?
这有点像是个趋势 You know, it's kinda just like the trend,
我想现在大家都帮应用程式 取愚蠢的名字 I guess, these days to give apps, like, silly names.
像是”分摩” ”葫芦” ”飞栗鼠”‥ You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and...
也许你会觉得这应用程式有点傻 You know, you might think it's kinda silly.
但我已经很努力地开发‥ But I've been working on it pretty hard
差不多花了五年了 for five years now, basically.
等我卖掉这程式 就可以‥ And once I sell this thing, I can finally, you know,
开始人生新篇章 很令人期待 start the next chapter, which is exciting.
你开发了五年 怎么不卖掉？ You work for five years. How come you no sell?
只是‥ It's just...
还没准备好 not ready yet.
我还在做最后的调整 I'm still finalizing some things.
只想专心地做对一切 你懂吗？ Just really focused on getting it right, you know?
让产品更完美 Making it perfect.
但我想一旦准备好 I think once it's ready, though, I'll have
就能轻松把它卖掉 a pretty easy time selling it.
我的一个同学在创投工司工作 I went to school with this guy who works in venture capital.
我很肯定他会有兴趣 And I'm pretty sure he'd be into it.
他说产品完成 马上会听我的提案 He said that they wanna hear the pitch as soon as it's done.
但我还在纠结商标设计 But I'm still kind of noodling with the logo.
我越来越喜欢这个芥末色的商标 I mean, this mustardy one has really been growing on me.
但我想要它更芥末一点 I kinda wish it was mustardier, though.
这是你父亲吗？ Is this your father?
不是 那是大卫鲍伊 No, that's David Bowie.
这是你母亲吗？ Is this your mother?
不是 那也是大卫鲍伊 No, that's also David Bowie.
整张海报全都是大卫鲍伊 That whole poster's David Bowie.
为什么你家里 摆了这么多东西‥ How come in this whole place you have so many things,
却没有家人的照片？ but no pictures of family?
我有家人的照片 I have pictures of my family.
只是没有‥ I just haven't really,
拿去裱框 并融入我的室内‥ you know, like, framed them and incorporated them in my...
设计里 design.
但我有照片 But I got that stuff right here.
你留着了 You kept.
对 我留着了 Yeah. I kept.
这是谁？ Who is this?
那是‥ That's...
你的儿子 your son.
那是莫特格林鲍姆 It's Mort Greenbaum.
莫特？ "Mort"?
莎拉生了个儿子 Sarah had son.
他过得怎么样？ How was his life?
是个成功的人吗？ Was he success?
对 他是一家砖厂的工头 Yeah. He was a foreman of a brick factory.
工头？ A foreman?
是啊 Yeah.
这是谁？ Who is this?
那是莫特的儿子 That's Mort's son.
大卫格林鲍姆 你的孙子 David Greenbaum. Your grandson.
他也是工头？ He was also foreman?
他是会计师 He was an accountant.
－会计 －对 - Accountant. - Yeah.
这是他的妻子吗？ This his wife?
这位凹凸有致的年轻女子是谁？ Who is this very shapely young woman here?
是我 That's me.
这是你的父母？ These are your parents.
他们在哪里？ Where are they?
他们都过世了 They passed away.
我很遗憾 I'm very sorry.
是遇害还是一般死法？ Murdered or regular?
他们发生了车祸 It was a car crash.
所以是一般死法 So, regular.
向我诉说他们死亡的细节 You will tell me everything of their death
好让我见证你的悲恸 so I may bear witness to your grief.
他们的身体是怎么死去的 断气时的表情 How their bodies died, their faces as the life left.
要非常具体 Be very specific.
不漏掉任何细节 Spare no detail.
我们会因哀痛而更团结 We will bond over our pain.
一定要钜细靡遗 No detail too small.
现在不必说这个 We don't have to get into that right now.
想出去走走吗？ 我们去斯莫加斯堡市集吧 You wanna get outta here? Let's go to Smorgasburg.
那儿的菠萝蜜玉米片很好吃 They have jackfruit nachos that are actually really good.
我们现在要去墓地 We will go to cemetery now.
造访格林鲍姆家族墓园 向死者致敬 Visit Greenbaum family grave, pay our respect to dead.
说真的 我不确定‥ Actually, I'm not sure...
我想墓地现在没有开放 I don't think the cemetery's open right now.
那我们明天去墓园 So we go to cemetery tomorrow.
我想明天应该会下雨 I think it was maybe supposed to rain.
天气好的话 我们就去 So I guess weather permitting.
好 但我们现在要去犹太会堂 All right. But now we go to shul,
诵读哀悼者的圣颂 为亡者祝祷 we say Mourner's Kaddish, Prayer for dead.
必须好好纪念莎拉 莫特 还有你父母 Must properly honor memory of Sarah, Mort, your parents.
是啦 但我不‥ Yeah, I'm not...
我不确定现在想不想做这件事 I'm not sure that's something I want to do right now.
不过 我很乐意陪你走去会堂 But I would be happy to walk you over there.
有什么问题吗？ What is problem?
没有问题 It's not a problem.
我想我明白你为何有宗教信仰 I guess I understand why you're a religious person.
很合理 你那个年代的人 理应有信仰 That makes sense for someone from your era.
但我不太‥ But I am not...
我不太有信仰 I'm not very religious.
你不知道哀悼者的圣颂吗？ You do not know Mourner's Kaddish?
已经忘记了 Not anymore, no.
不为亡者祝祷 你要如何为过世的父母哀悼？ How do you grieve for dead parents if you do not say prayer for dead?
我不那样也挺好的 I'm doing okay.
我不明白 I do not understand.
你从小接受犹太教养 You were raised Jew.
－对啊 －你现在却不是犹太人了？ -Yeah. -Are you not still Jew?
技术上来说没错 Technically.
我的成年礼 还以野蛮游戏当主题 I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah.
我一开始就不是很虔诚了 - It's not like I was that religious - in the first place.
而且有组织的宗教是很落伍 Also, like, organized religion is very regressive.
布普巴普
赞美神 美丽的格林鲍姆墓园仍在 Praise Hashem, there is still beautiful Greenbaum plot.
那儿非常特别 无比独特 Very special place. Very special.
告诉我榆树现在多高了？ Tell me, how high is elm tree now?
一百尺 两百尺？ 100 feet?200 feet?
是啊 差不多吧 Yeah. Something like that.
可能吧 我不太确定 Probably. I'm not 100% sure.
你上次来是什么时候？ When last time you come?
我不知道 大概五年前之类的 I don't know, maybe like five years ago, or somethin'.
一段时间没来了 So been a little while.
等等 Wait.
是这边 It's this way.
往这边 This way!
美好的神 Sweet Hashem.
你让人们乱丢垃圾 You let them put garbage.
还让人们架起巨大的看板 And you let them put huge sign block out sun and kill tree!
挡住了阳光 害死了树 Yeah, it's not on our property.
意外和伤害法
看板不在我们的土地上 什么也做不了 There's nothing we can do about it.
车祸 受伤 摔倒 败诉免费
莎拉格林鲍姆
莎拉 Sarah.
你还好吗？ You okay?
我们要祷告 We will pray.
大卫格林鲍姆 苏珊格林鲍姆
十大奇妙的动物友情 让你开心一整天
两位 Hey, guys!
抱歉 你们不能站在那里 Sorry, you can't be there.
什么？ What?
我们要挂看板 We're putting up a billboard!
上头写了什么？ What it say?
香草伏特加的广告 It's an ad for vanilla-flavored vodka.
卡多斯卡伏特加 敬同志一杯
香草口味的‥ Vanilla-flavored...
伏特加？ ...vodka?
哥萨克人 Cossacks.
哥萨克人 Cossack!
赫歇尔 你在干嘛？ Hershel, what are you doin', man?
拿下香草伏特加看板‥ You will take down vanilla vodka...
否则我要使用暴力了 or I will do violence.
－什么？ －拿下香草伏特加看板‥ -What? -You will take down vanilla vodka...
否则我要使用暴力了 or I will do violence.
听着 老兄 我没时间跟你‥ Look, buddy, I don't have time for--
糟了 不会吧 Oh, shit. No!
－住手 －爽 - Stop! - Yes!
别打了‥ Stop!
来啊 Come on! Come on!
班恩 快上啊‥ Ben! Ben!Come on!
你们永远 阻止不了格林鲍姆一家‥ You can never stop the Greenbaums!You will never stop the Greenbaums!
保释金处理好了 你们可以走了 Your payment's been processed. You're free to go.
棒透了 Fantastic.
我们必须回墓园那儿去 We must go back to grave.
我们要砍掉哥萨克看板 We will cut down Cossack billboard.
我们要是那么做 Dude, if we do that,
就要回牢里了 we're gonna go back to jail.
－所以不行 －好吧 -So, no. -Okay.
我们向哥萨克人买那块看板 We must purchase billboard from Cossack,
虽然我不喜欢这方案 which I do not like,
但接着我们就砍掉看板 and then we cut down billboard.
首先 那块看板不是哥萨克人的 First off, the Cossacks don't own it.
第二 那属于大型看板公司 要价二十万美元 Second off, it's owned by some giant billboard company. It costs $200,000.
那我们从大公司买下看板 然后我们砍掉看板 Then we buy from giant company and then we cut down billboard.
你干嘛这么难搞？ Why are you being so difficult about this?
我负担不起啊 I can't afford it!
你有钱吧 你父母留了钱给你？ You have moneys? Your parents leave you moneys?
我没有二十万美元 I don't have $200,000.
你有这么多东西 肯定有钱 You have all this, so you have moneys.
你有多少钱？ How much moneys you have?
我还剩一些 但不多 I have some money left, but I don't have a lot left.
现在则少了很多 因为要保释我俩出狱 And I have a lot less now that I had to bail us
－又不是我的错 －就是 -out of jail, Herschel. -It's not my fault!
你挑衅那些建筑工人动手打架 What is your fault is that you started a fight with
总得有人扞卫家族的荣誉 你又不愿意 some construction workers! Someone has to defend honor of family. Not you.
我愿意扞卫家族的荣誉 And I'd be defending the honor of our family more
但我忙着创业跟发明产品 if I wasn't busy trying to create a company and a product, man!
你很忙吗？ 是啊 不肯卖”布普巴普” You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops.
你不知道 这一切的压力多大 好吗？ You don't understand how much pressure there is on this stuff. Okay?
我努力将产品变得完美 I'm trying to make it perfect.
蓝色 绿色 红色 谁在乎啊？ Blue. Green. Red. Who cares?
就选一个颜色啊 Pick a color!
公司的成败取决于商标的颜色啊 Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo!
让我告诉你一件事 Let me tell you something.
施洛普斯克有一句俗谚 In Schlupsk, we have saying.
太好了 是什么？ 古人的智慧肯定历久弥新啊 Oh, good. Yeah, what is it? I'm sure this has aged well.
如果男人说要挥拳 If man says he is going to throw punch,
但迟迟不挥拳 but he does not throw punch,
是因为他的手臂 像小儿麻痹症患者 it is because this man secretly has polio arm.
你就是这样 This is you.
你的手臂像有小儿麻痹 You have polio arm.
这就是你的小儿麻痹手臂 This your polio arm.
挥拳吧 Throw your punch!
做点大事 班恩 Do something, Ben!
别光坐在那儿盯着布普巴普看 Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops.
蓝色 黄色 绿色 谁在乎啊 Blue, yellow, green! Who cares?
挥拳啊 Throw your punch!
好啊 猜怎么着？ Okay. Fine! You know what?
好啊 来啊 Fine! Fine!
－很好 动手吧 －我马上写信给他 - Good. Good. Do it. - I'll email the guy.
反正我也别无选择 我没钱了 No choice anyway. I have no money.
产品还没准备好 商标不对 It's not ready. Logo's not right.
谁在乎愚蠢的商标啊？ Who cares about the stupid logo?
－你知道小儿麻痹有疫苗了吧？ －真的吗？ -You know they cured polio, right? - They did?
对 很久以前了 Yes, they did.
一个名叫约拿沙克的人 A long time ago. A guy named Jonas Salk.
－他是犹太人吗？ －对 他是 -Was he Jew? -He was. Yes.
－他是犹太人？ －对 - He was Jewish? - Yes.
太棒了 我就知道 Yes! Knew it.
是啊 真棒 Oh, yeah, big win.
我以前看到小儿麻痹症 都觉得”这肯定能治愈” I would look at polio people and think,"They could fix this."
－你以前就那么觉得？ －这不是无法解决的问题 - You thought that? -This problem not unfixable problem.
找个犹太人来 他就会搞定 You put a Jew on this, he will fix this.
你真是预言家 赫歇尔 Very prophetic of you, Herschel.
我说对了 很好 I was right. Very good.
他在回讯息 He's texting back.
他说我的想法一针见血 He says my idea's "straight fire."
这是一件好事 That's a good thing.
他要我今天就过去 亲自向他们提案 He wants me to come in today and pitch my idea in person.
他想要你的布普巴普 He wants your Boop Bops.
－这可是件大事 赫歇尔 －是的 - This is a big deal, Herschel. - Yes.
他想要我的布普巴普 He wants my Boop Bops.
班恩 你好吗？ Ben, what's up?
最近好吗 兄弟？ Hey! How's it going, man?
我们没办法投资 We're not gonna invest.
－什么？ －是啊 抱歉 兄弟 - What? - Yeah. Sorry, man.
－问题是什么？ －你来之前 我们上网搜寻你 -What's the problem? -Before you came in, we googled your name
出现的第一笔资料 就是你被逮捕的新闻 and the first thing that comes up is your arrest.
听着 只是因为观感不好 Look, it's just bad optics.
毕竟应用程式的重点在于道德 I mean, the whole app is about ethics,
开发者却是个暴力罪犯 and the founder is a violent criminal.
如果你用布普巴普 扫描布普巴普 Like, if you Boop Bopped Boop Bop,
会得到很低的布普巴普分数 you'd get a really low Boop Bop score.
我们能做什么来补救吗？ 可以带个风向之类的吗？ Is there anything we can do?Can we spin this or something like that?
完全没办法 没人会想碰这玩意儿的 Oh, no. Definitely not.No one's gonna touch this, man. This is...
这点子已经没戏唱了‥ This idea is dead.
听着 把这当作一个机会 Look, consider this an opportunity.
还有很多点子可以做 I mean, there's tons of other ideas.
你花了多久想出这个？ How long did it take to come up with this?
－五年 －五年 的确‥ - Five years. -Five years. That's--
－很久 －是啊 是挺久的 -Long time. -Yeah, that's a while.
抱歉让你失望了 Sorry to disappoint you, I guess.
也许你能做个 开发者是坏人也无所谓的程式 Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter if the founder's a bad person.
某种社群网站之类的 Like a social media thing.
我不知道你需不需要我的建议 Hey. I don't know if you want my advice, man,
但完全改变作法永远不嫌晚 but it's never too late to do things completely differently.
保重了 做出新的东西再联络我 Take care, man.Call me if you got anything new.
你赚到钱了吗？ Did you get moneys?
没有 我没赚到钱 No. I didn't get moneys.
而且我恐怕永远也赚不到钱 And I'm afraid that I might never get moneys
因为我的生意以道德为基础 for my business that is based on ethics
现在我却有伤害的犯罪前科 now that I have a criminal record for assault
都是你害的 because of you!
我就担心没人要你的布普巴普 I was worried no one would want your Boop Bops
因为那是个糟糕的点子 所以‥ because is terrible idea. So...
我想到了别的主意 I have other idea.
我们创一个泡菜生意 We start pickle business.
这是不错的生意 犹太人的生意 Is good business. Jewish business.
我有腌泡菜的知识 I have knowledge of pickling.
我自己也是个泡菜 I was myself a pickle.
这是个愚蠢至极的主意 赫歇尔 That's a very stupid idea, Herschel.
会成功的 It will work.
我们创一个泡菜生意 We will start pickle business.
我们会成功的 We will become success.
你终将让死去的父母感到骄傲 You will finally make dead parents proud.
你好大胆提起我父母 Don't you talk about my parents.
你不准提到我父母 You never talk about my parents!
你对他们一无所知 You don't know anything about them!
你从未见过他们 You never met them!
因为你忙着被腌在泡菜盐水里 'Cause you were too busy getting pickle-brined
腌了一百年了 for 100 years!
全都是你的错 赫歇尔 It's your fault, Herschel.
你害我们被逮捕 You got us arrested.
你毁了我花上多年心血的生意 You ruined my business that I spent years on!
幸好莎拉已经不在世了 It's a good thing Sarah's not around anymore.
因为如果她还活着 肯定会以你为耻 'Cause if she was, she would be ashamed of you.
给我听好我接下来的誓言 You hear this vow.
我会打造泡菜帝国 I will create pickle empire.
我会赚到二十万美元 I will make $200,000.
我要从哥萨克人手上买回土地 I will buy back Cossack land.
然后砍掉看板 And I will cut down billboard.
我会证明你才愚蠢 I will prove you stupid.
因为你是我的敌人 Because you are my enemy.
你让格林鲍姆的名字蒙羞 You dishonor Greenbaum name.
我们不再是一家人 We are no longer family.
那祝你好运吧 你一点儿屁事都完全不懂 Good luck with that.You don't know jack shit about shit, man.
我看你根本不识字 You can't even read from what I can tell.
想打造一个泡菜帝国？ You're gonna start a pickle empire?
没有我的帮助 你根本活不下去 You can't even survive out there without my help!
我不需要任何人帮助 Do not need help from anybody.
我会证明你才愚蠢 I will prove you stupid with
而且永远不需要任何人帮助 no help from anybody ever!
我想买 多少钱？ I would like to purchase. How much?
应该是一根９０分美元 Looks like these are 90 cents apiece.
不好意思 小男孩 我刚刚听成‥ Terribly sorry, little boy. It sounds to me
一根小黄瓜要９０分美元 like you are saying these cucumbers are 90 cents apiece.
是啊 I am.
全绿食品
小黄瓜 Cucumber.
盐巴 And salt.
太好了 Yes!
太棒了 Yes!
你看‥ Oh, my God. Kevin, look.
威廉斯堡
手工泡菜 Artisanal pickles.
他不在美食情报网上 Well, he's not on Yelp.
先生 你的产品很在地吗？ Sir. How local is your produce?
我的泡菜是在布鲁克林做的 I make pickle here in Brooklyn.
那是纯天然的吗？ And are they all-natural?
－是腌的 －但有没有化学添加物 -Is pickle. -But do you add any chemicals like,
例如苯甲酸盐或防腐剂？ you know, benzoates or preservatives?
我甚至不知道那些词是什么 I do not even know these words.
我喜欢你的风格 Oh, I like your style.
我来瞧瞧 Ooh, let's see.
直冲我的喉咙 Just hits me in my throat.
－非常辛辣 －我闻闻 -Very pungent. -Let me smell it.
－真呛 －你能感受那股灼热 -Oh! Yeah, that burns. -You can feel the burn.
没错 仿佛用眼睛都能闻到 I can, like, smell it in my eye.
－感受那种刺痛 －再给我闻一次 -Feel the sting. -Give it to me again. Let me smell it.
没错 从魔鬼那儿新鲜直送 Mm, yeah, that's straight from the devil.
－撒旦的食物 真臭 －知道吗 这肯定很适合‥ -Satanic. Oh, it stinks. -You know what, it would go so good
－配海带酸腌鱼 －天啊 没错 -with the kelp ceviche. -Oh, my God, that's right.
我们要给你多少钱？ How much do we owe you?
你们想买？ You want to buy?
当然啊 Of course.
泡菜是四美元 Is four dollar for pickle.
比大型商店便宜三美元 Three dollar less than big store
还把渣也送你们 and I include the scum.
－好 当然了 －好吧 好耶 渣 - Okay. Sure. - Okay! Yeah, scum.
－渣棒透了 －拿去吧 - Here you go. - That's great.
渣就渣罗 Scum it is.
你们不杀价？ You no haggle.
杀价？ 不用吧 一瓶泡菜四块挺合理的 Haggle? No, I mean, it seems like four dollars is appropriate for one pickle.
是啊 除非你有优惠券 Yeah, unless you got a coupon.
还有 吃完把瓶子拿回来 Also, you bring back jar when you finish.
他回收瓶子耶‥ He reclaims his jars. He reclaims his jars.
重复使用瓶子没有什么不好 There is nothing wrong with used jar.
用过再多次也都一样好用 They same after many, many use.
阿门 完全同意 Amen to that!
－阿门‥ －你是个教徒 - Amen. - You are religious.
阿门 Amen.
感激不尽 祝你今天愉快 Well, thank you so much. Have a good day.
别忘了把瓶子带回来 Don't forget bring back jar.
否则我会找到你 然后狠狠地使用暴力 Or I will find you, and I will do terrible violence.
知道吗？ 你应该发一篇有关他的文 You know what? You should do a post on him.
当然 我怎能不发呢？ Oh. Yeah. How could I not?
其他网路报 工程师暴行
朋友 你好吗？ Hey, man, how's it going?
不太好 Yeah, not fantastic.
我发现我必须‥ I found out I gotta basically throw
基本上抛弃正在开发的应用程式 away the app I was working on,
从头开始一切 and start again from scratch.
－真糟糕 －是啊 超糟糕的 - Bummer. - Yeah. Big bummer.
但我会想到办法的 But I'll think of something.
泡菜的好坏要用闻的 It's about the smell.
泡菜就该闻起来像呕吐物 You know is good.Pickles should smell like vomit.
打扰一下 你在看什么？ Excuse me, what is that?
关于在贝德福德 那个古法泡菜男的部落格文章 It's a blog post about that old-timey pickle guy over on Bedford.
我听说过那个人 Oh, yeah. I heard about that guy.
很夸张吧 你看 It's crazy, right? Look, here, check it out.
赫歇尔的泡菜瓶上没有标签 Herschel's jars have no label,
他的产品甚至没有名字 and his product doesn't even have a name.
但他可能是整个威廉斯堡 最道地的手工泡菜师傅 But he just might be the most authentic artisanal pickler in all of Williamsburg.
而且他的口音超可爱的 And his accent is cute AF.
你好 Hello.
我的天哪 Aww! Oh, my God!
所以他用回收再利用的泡菜瓶 So he uses, like, repurposed pickle jars,
小黄瓜 盐巴和雨水 就这样 cucumbers, salt and rainwater, and that's it.
该出手投资了 对吧？ Time to invest right now, right?
这是很受欢迎的部落格吗？ Is this a popular blog?
这影片有一百万人观看 This video's got like a million views,
大家都很喜欢这个泡菜男 so people are loving this pickle guy.
也许店里也该进一些来卖 Maybe we should sell those here.
威士忌配泡菜 泡菜一口酒 Picklebacks, pickle shots.
－很酷吧？ －是挺酷的 -That's cool, right? -Looks cool.
－我爱他的帽子 －是啊 - Aw, I love his hat. - I know.
坏坏风 道德路线
良心消费 吃出道德
赫歇尔 你的泡菜 是布鲁克林最热门的东西 Herschel, your pickles are the hottest thing in Brooklyn.
能够如此成功的感觉如何？ How does it feel to be such a runaway success?
班恩格林鲍姆 Ben Greenbaum,
你现在能在电视箱子上看到我了 you see me now on your television box.
我变得非常成功 Well, I become huge success.
我很快能买回哥萨克看板 Soon I buy back Cossack billboard
并证明你很愚蠢 and I prove you are stupid.
你是我这辈子见过最愚蠢的人 You are stupidest person I ever seen in my life.
那个班恩感觉真蠢 Wow, that Ben guy really sounds stupid.
跟你比起来 我是个天才 ...genius compared to you.
好吧 不确定班恩是谁 Okay. Not sure who Ben is.
赫歇尔 就我所知 Herschel, I understand your pickles are made
你的泡菜是雨水做的 with rainwater.
－雨水 没错 －是的 - Rainwater, yes. - Yes.
排水沟里的雨水 Rainwater from gutters.
屋顶上的营养物质落入瓶子里 Nutrients from roof come off into jar.
里头有鸟屎？ There's bird droppings in there?
里头有各种动物的部位 All sorts of animal parts in here.
动物脚的一些精华 Little essence of animal feet.
请靠边停好吗？ Could you pull over, please?
你好 卫生局吗？ Hello. Health Department?
我想要投诉 I'd like to file a complaint.
－给你 拿好泡菜 －谢谢 - There you go. You take pickle. - Gratitude.
你是赫歇尔格林鲍姆吗？ Are you Herschel Greenbaum?
是的 泡菜一瓶十四元 Yes, 14 dollar for pickle.
想跟赫歇尔用电话拍照 要多付十元 Ten dollar extra if you want telephone photograph with the Herschel.
去排队吧 Get in line.
听着 你必须立刻停售 Listen, you're gonna have to shut this down immediately.
－为什么要停售？ －你公然违反数十条食安法 -Why shut down? -Because you've got dozens of flagrant health violations.
你不能从垃圾桶挖出食物 就直接卖给别人 You can't just take food out of a garbage can and sell it to people.
－这太夸张了 －但这是纯天然的 全素 - That's insane. - But is all-natural. Is vegan.
不含苯甲酸酯 不含防腐剂 No benzoate. No preservative.
你很幸运没人吃了丧命 You're lucky no one has died.
你欠了一万二美元的税金 各项费用和罚款 You owe $12,000 in taxes, fees and fines.
缴清前 你必须停售 Till then, you are shut down.
全绿食品新鲜羽衣甘蓝脆片
得分９１分 高道德
真恶心 各位 Ew. Guys.
快丢了泡菜 那是垃圾做的 Eighty-six the pickles. They're made out of garbage.
拒吃 Nope.
天啊 Oh, my God.
这羽衣甘蓝超屌
赫歇尔 我们听说那可怕的消息了 Herschel, we heard the terrible news.
对啊 怎么了？ Yeah, what happened?
我被邪恶的女人停业了 I was shut down by evil woman.
他们说我必须 ”让一切合乎规范” They tell me I have to "bring things up to code."
我不知道要怎么独立做到这一切 I do not know how to do this all by myself.
你可以扩大生意规模 对吧？ You could scale up the business, right?
－没错 好主意 －也许请一些员工 - Maybe hire some workers. - That's good.
我请不起员工 Cannot afford workers.
你可以找实习生 You could get interns!
对啊 Yes.
－实习生？ －没错 他们是无薪员工 -"Interns"? -Yeah, they're unpaid workers.
无薪员工？ Unpaid workers.
对 你可以提供教育和经验 取代薪水 Right. You compensate them in education and experience.
就像奴隶那样？ Like slave?
不是 我不是那个意思 No, no, no. That's not what I mean.
这么说有点过度简化了 That's a little bit of an oversimplification.
听着 赫歇尔 你经营了 小型又有道德意识的‥ Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small,ethically conscious...
下一位 Next.
格林鲍姆先生 首先我要谢谢你 Mr. Greenbaum, I would just like to thank you in advance
考虑让我进行实习 for considering me for this internship.
我叫卡拉 即将升上纽约大学四年级 My name is Clara. I am a rising senior at NYU.
我的平均成绩是４．２分 是亚洲电影俱乐部主席 I have a 4.2 GPA. I am president of the Asian Cinema Club--
让我看看你的牙齿 Show me your teeth.
很好 Yes.
赫歇尔重出江湖了 Herschel is back!
手套 拿去 人人都得戴上手套 Gloves, here you go. Everyone needs gloves.
这是规定 That's the regulation.
就如胡须要塞进去一样 这很重要 Like the beard tucked in. That's important!
好了 一起让一切符合规范 All right. Let's get this up to code, people.
等级未决定
专心腌泡菜 不要讲话 Just pickling. No talking.
不对‥ No!No, no, no!
好泡菜 坏泡菜 Good pickle. Bad pickle.
快成功了 加油 Almost there. Keep it up!
丙等
很好 All right!
乙等
创投公司的连恩
兄弟 我想到一些好主意 能让布普巴普起死回生
各位 这就是我们追求的目标 This is what we're reaching for, everybody.
这就是梦想 这就是目标 This is the dream.This is the goal.
一瓶完美的泡菜 Perfect jar of pickle.
出动吧 Go.
我有办法挽救程式” ”什么？
重塑形象成道德坏小子 这很完美
－你好 －你们好 - Hey! - Hey there!
棒透了‥ Yes!Yes, yes, yeah!
感觉还是很冒险 而且我们有别项投资
没钱了 抱歉
谢谢你 Thank you.
好耶 Yeah!
动起来‥ Move it, move it!
卡多斯卡伏特加
动作快‥ Hurry! Hurry up!
上头写着地契已全额付清 It says your deed on the lot is paid in full.
砍下看板 Cut it down.
赫歇尔赢了 Herschel win! Yeah!
大卫格林鲍姆 苏珊格林鲍姆
十大迹象证明 赫歇尔真的是超级英雄
赫歇尔发明全新的 超棒胜利之舞 让人受不了
赫歇尔展现出低调的自信吗 当然了
赫歇尔格林鲍姆的泡菜生意 吸引了大量投资者
这只是个开始 各位在这儿抢先听到了 This is the beginning. Right? You heard it here first, folks.
班杰明格林鲍姆将会改变世界 你一定可以 Benjamin Greenbaum is gonna change the world.That's what you're gonna do.
好 谢谢 感谢称赞 Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.
我们很清楚你办得到‥ We know it. We know it.
对了 比尔盖兹 闪边吧 Oh, yeah. Bill Gates, move over.
－让开 －小心了 比尔 - Move over, Bill Gates. - Watch out, Bill.
班恩格林鲍姆有你的电话号码 Ben Greenbaum's got your number.
谢谢你们 谢谢 I appreciate it. Thank you, guys.
我们知道你会做很多很棒的事 And we know you're gonna do such great things.
－伟大的事 －话说‥ - Great things. - And speaking of...
爸 妈‥ Guys.
－只是一点小心意 －一点点而已 - It's just a little... - A little something.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
这是一项投资 投资你的新公司 It's an investment. An investment in your new company.
我们想当初创投资者 We wanted to get in on the ground floor.
没错 最初创的投资者 Yes, absolutely. Bottom.
我的公司连名字都还没取 现在讲投资有点太早了 My company doesn't even have a name yet, so I think it's a little premature.
不会啦 你会想出名字的 Come on! You'll think of something.
－可以直接叫”爸妈公司” －你这么有创意跟创造力 -You could just call it "Mom and Dad." -You're so creative, inventive.
”爸妈公司” 我喜欢 "Mom and Dad." I like that--
卡多斯卡伏特加
我成功了 I have done it.
我恢复了家族的荣耀 I have restored honor to family
征服了哥萨克人 and conquered the Cossacks.
－恭喜你 －我现在有些空闲时间 -Congrats. -Now I have some free time on my hands,
所以我有个好消息 so I have good news.
赫歇尔回来了 Herschel is back.
我决定我要回来 陪在你身边 I have decided I would come back to be with you.
不是为了我 我很好 生活稳定 Not for me. I am fine. Very stable.
没有起起伏伏 赫歇尔一直都很开心 Not ups and downs. Herschel feel very happy all the time.
－是喔？ －但为了班恩‥ -Oh, yeah? -But for Ben,
我想也许我该回来帮助你 I figure maybe I come back and I help you.
你没妻子 没孩子 没朋友 You have no wife, no children, no friends,
现在又没了工作 and now no job.
你需要帮助 You need help!
赫歇尔会帮你 别担心 Herschel will help. Do not worry.
你走吧 赫歇尔 我不想要你在这里 好吗？ Go away, Herschel. I don't want you here.
请离开我的公寓 Okay?Just please leave my apartment.
但我是你仅剩的家人 But I am only family you have left.
你需要赫歇尔 You need Herschel.
没有赫歇尔 你就孤零零的了 Without Herschel, you'll be all alone.
没人能修复破碎的生活 No one to fix broken life.
我的生活并不破碎 赫歇尔 My life isn't broken, Herschel.
我好得很 非常开心 I'm fine. I'm completely happy.
老实说 我现在唯一的问题就是你 The only problem I have right now, honestly, is you.
请你走吧 Just please go!
如果你还没意识到你需要赫歇尔 If you do not realize you need Herschel,
那你就比波兰人还愚蠢 you are stupider than Polish person.
他们是最愚蠢的人了 And they are the stupidest.
蠢蛋
你最近的推特 状况如何 赫歇尔？ How's your Twitter presence these days, Herschel?
－推特是什么？ －什么？ -What is Twitter? -What
你不知道推特？ "What is Twitter?"
你这样有权有势的泡菜大亨 You don't know what Twitter is?Big, powerful pickle magnate like you doesn't know
竟然不知道推特？ what Twitter is?
你换个词解释 我可能就知道了 I might know what it is by other word.
也许告诉我 让我确认一下 Well, maybe tell me what it is. Clarify.
推特就是一个观念的自由市场 Twitter, you know, it's a marketplace of ideas
世上最优秀 最聪明的人 在上面分享他们的观点 where the world's best and brightest come to share their opinions
以非常谨慎又合理的态度发言 in a very measured and reasonable manner.
－推特 －我会用推特 -Twitter. -I will do Twitter.
你也许觉得你会 但太复杂了 你搞不懂的 You probably think you can but it's very complicated.
－我什么都办得到 －我觉得不行 - I can do anything. - I don't think you can.
－你会用推特吗？ －我会啊 - Can you do Twitter? - Oh, I can do Twitter.
连你都会用 我一定行 If you can do Twitter, I can do Twitter.
要将推特用得淋漓尽致 你的发言得粗俗且毫不修饰 In order to do Twitter really well,you gotta be raw and uncensored
直白地说出你最真实的观点 and share your completely unfettered opinions.
你应该不太在行 I don't think you'll be good at that.
－我会用推特 －这我可不敢说 - I will do Twitter! - Really? I don't know.
你看好了 班恩 我会用推特 You watch me, Ben! I will do Twitter.
我会成为史上最会用推特的人 I will do Twitter better than anyone has ever done Twitter.
我要亲眼看见才会相信 赫歇尔 Well, I'll believe it when I see it, Herschel.
你会看见的 你会相信的 You will see it. And you will believe it.
那就去用吧 朋友 Well, have at it, my friend!
你走着瞧吧 Watch.
先生 人们会请公关团队来帮忙 Sir, some people hire a publicity team to help.
不用帮忙 No help.
我自己用推特 任何事都休想阻止我 I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me now.
现在把你听写的内容读出来 Now read me back my dictation.
好吧 Okay.
－坐轮椅的人 －没错 -"Wheelchair -people,
－我的泡菜太好吃了 －对 - my pickles are so good... - Yes.
好吃到让你忘了神诅咒了你 ...it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you."
神诅咒了他们的腿 但嘴巴没事 Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths.
他们可以吃泡菜 They can eat pickle.
－很好 －好吧 - Is good. - Okay.
－发到推特上 －正在发 - Send to Twitter. - Sending.
－我们卖给所有人 －对 -"We sell to all peoples -yes
女人也卖 除非她们月经来 even woman, unless they are menses,
那就乖乖待在帐篷里吧 in which case, stay in tent."
待在帐篷里 Stay in tent.
－下一则推特 －听好了 鸡奸者 -Next Twitter. - "Attention, sodomites."
－没错 －神会因你的罪孽而惩罚你 - Yes. -"Hashem will smite you for your sin!
你违背上帝而有罪 会被火烧死 You will burn in flames for your crimes against God.
买我的泡菜 Buy my pickles."
完美的推文 太棒了 Perfect to send.Very good.
是啊‥ Yep.
今天好多顾客啊 Oh, lots of customers today.
他们不是顾客 是抗议人士 Those are not customers. Those are protesters.
－你太恶心了 －你怎敢这么做？ - You're disgusting, man! - How dare you?
－抗议人士？ －打倒赫歇尔 -"Protesters"? -Down with Herschel!
打倒赫歇尔‥ Down with Herschel!...
先生 尽管我非常感激您 提供这个教育机会 Sir, as grateful as I am to you for this educational opportunity,
我恐怕再也无法昧着良心 继续做下去了 I am afraid that I can no longer continue this endeavor in good conscience.
谢谢你的大学学分 Thank you for the college credit.
卡拉 Clara!
打倒赫歇尔‥ Down with Herschel! Down with Herschel!
你这个叛徒 You traitor!
我为你做了那么多 After everything I do for you!
－打倒赫歇尔‥ －对不起 -Down with Herschel! -I'm sorry.
打倒赫歇尔‥ Down with Herschel!
走开‥ Go away! Go away!
谁是赫歇尔格林鲍姆？ Who is Herschel Greenbaum?
他卖的是什么？ And what is he selling?
是泡菜？ Is it pickles?
还是仇恨？ Or is it hate?
格林鲍姆的推文太过离谱 Greenbaum's tweets are so outrageous,
看起来几乎是刻意冒犯人们的 they seem almost designed to cause offense.
你疯了 You're insane!
他引起了各种抗议和抵制 He's drawing protests and boycotts.
但这也许就是重点 But maybe that's the point.
一些人认为他是可恶的偏执狂 心中充满怒火 - Some view him as a hateful bigot with rage in his heart.
其他人则认为 他是言论自由的扞卫者 Others see him as a defender of free speech,
聪明的挑衅者 挑战着《第一修正案》的极限 a clever provocateur testing the limits of the First Amendment.
我明白他说了充满争议的话 Look, I get it. He's saying some controversial things
但他是宗教信徒 所以‥ but he's religious, so I believe him.
我相信他 我们现在需要这种人 He's what we need right now.
主流媒体的所有人都说 Everybody in the mainstream media's like,
赫歇尔是个糟糕的人 "Herschel's this terrible person."
我认为他们都搞错了 I think they got it all wrong.
他下的是西洋棋 其他人都只会玩跳棋 He's playing chess. Everybody else is playing checkers.
今晚 我们将了解 赫歇尔格林鲍姆究竟是谁 Tonight, we'll find out who Herschel Greenbaum really is
听听赫歇尔格林鲍姆本人说法 from the man himself, Herschel Greenbaum.
告诉我 赫歇尔 你如何回应‥ Tell me, Herschel. How do you respond
说你的信仰可憎的人？ to those who have called your belief system abhorrent?
我会对那些人说 I would tell these people
我不明白那个词是什么意思 I do not understand what this word means.
所以你的意思是 在线上发言时 So, what you're saying is when it comes to online speech
你无法理解限制 you don't understand restrictions.
我的意思是我不明白 这到底是怎么回事 I am saying I do not understand what is happening.
我不明白‥ I do not understand...
到底是怎么回事‥ what is happening...
这一切 with this whole thing.
到底是怎么回事‥ What is happening
这一切？ with this whole thing?
我们的文化 国家和生活方式？ With our culture, our country, our way of life?
这是赫歇尔格林鲍姆提出的问题 This is a question Herschel Greenbaum
无论好坏 他都决心要问清楚 for better or worse, is determined to ask.
到底是怎么回事？ What is happening?
现在到底是怎么回事？ What is happening right now?
我真的很希望谁能告诉我 I really wish somebody would tell me
现在到底是怎么回事 what is happening.
没错 Indeed.
赫歇尔 你抓住了世人的想像力 Herschel, you have captivated the imagination,
世人的心和思想 the hearts and minds of the entire world
用你的热情和真理 with your passion and your truth.
买我的泡菜‥ Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle.
我们会的 We will.
肯伊威斯特 支持赫歇尔格林鲍姆的得罪权
赫歇尔格林鲍姆辩论会
更多资讯
种族 性别 宗教 辩论友谊赛
与金埃克朗德
哈德逊大学 母校
好吧 尽管如此‥ Okay, be that as it may
你对性别角色的立场太倒退了 your stance on gender roles is so regressive
那会实质上 将女性限制在被奴役的生活里 that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude.
没错 奴役 女人喜欢服务 Exactly, servitude. Woman like to serve.
她有着小手 为人们上菜 She has little hands for serving things to people
以漂亮而优美的姿态 in very nice, graceful way.
女人有乳头能提供母乳 Women have nipples to serve milk to people.
女人下半身有洞能生孩子 Woman have hole in lower body to produce babies.
换句话说 将孩子从身体的洞给送出来 In other words, serve babies out of hole in body.
没错‥ Yeah. Yeah!
女人喜欢服务 Woman like serve! Yes!
令人难以置信地冒犯人 Incredibly offensive.
－某人月经来了 －并没有 - Someone is menses. - No.
无疑胜负已定 That debate is certainly settled.
现在交给观众来提问吧 Let's throw it to the audience for questions.
你 先生 You, sir.
赫歇尔 能跟你对话真是荣幸 Herschel, wow. It's amazing to talk to you.
我才荣幸来这里 Honor to be here.
我想知道 你对压垮小企业的税收有何看法 I was wondering how you felt about the taxes that are crushing small businesses.
很高兴你问了 I'm glad you ask.
向赫歇尔收税 赫歇尔就对你使用暴力 You tax Herschel, Herschel will do violence to you.
是的 可怕的暴力 Yes, terrible violence!
小姐 Miss.
赫歇尔 你可曾想过竞选公职？ Herschel, have you considered running for office?
我想要办公室 I would like office.
我想要大大的办公室 I would like big office.
我想要美国最大的办公室 I would like biggest office in America!
巨大的办公室 Huge office!
后面那位的问题呢？ Oh, how about you? In the back.
对 后排那位凹凸有致的少女 Yes, the shapely young woman in the back row.
看不清楚的那位 Cannot see.
好 谢谢你 你好 谢谢 Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you.
我想知道你对于公立学校 进行基督教祷告的想法 I was wondering what your thoughts are on Christian prayer in public schools.
谢谢 Yes, thank you.
简单的问题 很容易回答 Oh, simple question. Easy to answer.
我不认为我说的话会有任何争议 I don't think I'm saying anything controversial
我想大家都知道 when I say everybody know
耶稣基督母亲是妓女 Jesus Christ mother was prostitute.
她编出了基督教的故事 And she invent story of Christianity
来掩盖她是妓女的事实 to cover up fact that she prostitute.
所以如果你相信耶稣 So if you believe in Jesus,
代表你是个愚蠢的白痴 you are stupid idiot.
你烂透了 赫歇尔 我会逮到你的 You suck, Herschel! I'm gonna get you!
我们要宰了你 We're going to kill you
本台暂时中断原时段节目 We interrupt your regularly scheduled program
为您插播这则特别报导 to bring you this special report.
时间旅行的移民赫歇尔格林鲍姆 Herschel Greenbaum the time-traveling immigrant
原本赢得了美国人的心与支持 who captured America's hearts and minds
现已严重失宠 has fallen hard from grace.
全国各地上演了 对他偏执行为的抗议活动 The public outcry against his bigotry is spreading throughout the country.
他受到左翼和右翼领导人谴责 He's been condemned by leaders on the left and right.
不仅如此 And that's not all.
当局显然要求将他驱逐出境 Authorities are apparently calling for his deportation.
埃利斯岛的档案归档系统老旧 Due to an outdated filing system at the Ellis Island storage facility,
犹太裔档案
议他的证明文件已找不到了 his paperwork cannot be located.
赫歇尔格林鲍姆争议
因此 他的公民身份已被撤销 Therefore, his citizenship has been revoked.
如果您知道逃亡的非法外国人 赫歇尔格林鲍姆的下落 If you have information about the whereabouts of the fugitive illegal alien Herschel Greenbaum,
请拨打下方的线民热线 please call the tip hotline below.
我现在为这家伙感到可怜 I just feel bad for this guy at this point.
我不认为赫歇尔 这次能再度扭转局势 各位 Look, I don't see how Herschel can come back from this one, folks.
所有人都抛弃了他 他只身一人 生活一团糟 Everyone has deserted him. He's alone in the world. His life is in ruins.
他唯一要责怪的人 And the only person he has to blame for all of it,
很抱歉 就是赫歇尔格林鲍姆 I'm sorry,is Herschel Greenbaum.
搞什么鬼？ The hell?
老兄‥ Dude.
住手 Stop!
赫歇尔 你搞什么鬼？ 你在干嘛？ Herschel, what the hell, man? What are you doing?
那些基督徒想杀了我 These Christians, they try to kill me.
他们不会杀你 赫歇尔 They're not trying to kill you, Herschel.
只会送你回施洛普斯克 They just wanna send you back to Schlupsk.
那更糟 Is worse!
我绝不会回去施洛普斯克 I never go back to Schlupsk.
我和莎拉牺牲了一切来此 Everything me and Sarah sacrificed to come here is for nothing.
就全都白费了 Well, I don't know what to tell you, man.
我不知道该跟你说什么 老兄 I can't do anything for you.
我没办法帮你做任何事 There is something.
有一件事 You must smuggle
你得将走私赫歇尔 远离美国当局 Herschel away from American authorities.
－什么？ －我已经接受了新的命运 -What? -I have accepted I have new fate.
我要搬到加拿大 I will move to Canada,
成为冰人 become icicle man.
我会抓海狸去换柴火 I will trade beaver for fire.
这并不理想 但必须这么做 It's not ideal. But this is what must happen.
我很遗憾你发生了这些事 I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you
所有人都背叛了你 and that everyone's turned on you
因为你说了真的很卑鄙的话 because you've said truly despicable things.
但是我不会冒再次被逮捕的风险 But I'm not gonna risk getting arrested again
来帮助你 to help you.
我不是要你帮忙 Is not help.
而是做一笔交易 Is trade.
交易？ "Trade"?
我知道你不喜欢赫歇尔 I know you do not like Herschel.
也知道你觉得赫歇尔出现前 你的人生更美好 I know you think your life better before Herschel.
带我去加拿大 You take me to Canada,
你就再也不用见到我了 you never have to see me again.
好 All right.
再十英里就会到加拿大 没有道路或检查站 Ten miles to Canada, no roads, no checkpoints.
从这里走过去就行了 Just walk from here.
会成功的 This will work.
好了 Very good.
抱在一起取暖吧 We stay warm together.
谢谢你 Thank you.
这就是边境了 There's the border.
我们成功了 We made it.
糟糕 有人来了 快过来 Oh, shit. Someone's coming. Here.Come on. Here, come on, come on.
快来 This way,
这边 this way.
停车 Stop. Stop!
边境巡警
看起来他们只是要休息一下 Looks like they're just taking a break or something.
我们就在这儿待着 等他们离开 So we'll just chill here till they're gone.
你不介意吧？ You do not mind?
不介意 No, I don't mind.
－施洛普斯克有很多树林吗？ －有森林 - Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk? - Forest.
－有什么不同？ －有狼 - What's the difference? - Wolves.
莎拉喜欢追狼 Sarah loved to chase wolf.
她会用棍棒打它们 She would club them with stick,
用石头砸它们 hit them with rock,
杀了它们 kill them.
－非常美好的时光 －她听起来很棒 -Very good time. -She sounds pretty amazing.
真希望我能见到她 I wish I could have met her.
但也许没见到比较好 Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't.
为何这么说？ Why you say this?
我可能不太是 I'm probably not, like,
这家族未来最好的发展情况 the best-case scenario for what the family's become.
她可能不会太开心‥ She probably wouldn't be too psyched to,
看见现在的我 you know, to see who I am.
我可不确定 Not so sure.
也许我住到加拿大之后 Perhaps once I live in Canada,
你能来拜访赫歇尔 you come to visit Herschel.
你知道 也许‥ You know, maybe--
也许你不用去加拿大 Maybe you don't have to go to Canada.
－什么意思？ －现在仔细想想‥ - What do you mean? -I mean, now that I think about it,
也许我们还有别的选择 you know, maybe we just haven't exhausted all of our options.
你不用到加拿大去躲一辈子 You don't have to go hide in Canada for the rest of your life.
我们一起解决 这段期间‥ We'll fix this, and in the meantime,
你可以跟我一起住 我们一起想办法 you can stay with me. We'll figure it out.
你不会想要这样的 You do not want this.
－什么意思？ －你想一直试着摆脱赫歇尔 -What do you mean? -You try to get rid of Herschel.
带赫歇尔到荒郊野外 Take Herschel to middle of wilderness
带赫歇尔去加拿大 to take Herschel to Canada.
你恨赫歇尔 You hate Herschel.
我就直说了 I'm just gonna tell you this, man.
是我打电话向卫生局通报你 I'm the one who called the Health Department on you.
害你被停业 是我做的 I got you shut down. That was me.
我做得还不止那样 And that's not all I did.
我叫你去用推特 I told you to go on Twitter,
知道你会说出恶毒的话 你一直如此 knowing you would say despicable things.You always do.
我那么做是为了破坏你的生意 And I did that to sabotage your business.
就这样吗？ Is this it?
不止 推特事件没毁了你 No. After the Twitter thing didn't destroy you,
于是我去参加了你的辩论会 I attended the debate you were having.
坐在后排 假装了我的声音 I went to the back row and I disguised my voice
问了学校里基督教祷词的问题 and I asked the question about Christian prayer in school.
我完全知道你会说什么 I knew exactly what you were gonna say.
我很抱歉 赫歇尔 I'm so sorry, Herschel.
我做错了 我不该那么做 It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.
我造成了这一切事情 你愿意原谅我吗？ I caused this whole thing to happen. Do you forgive me?
－等等 －你是家族的叛徒 - Wait. - You are traitor to your family!
你不是犹太人 You are not Jew!
你 站住别跑 Hey! Hey, you! Stop right there!
２３２小组请求支援 232, requesting backup.
他往哪儿去了？ Where'd he go?
我想他是新闻里的那个泡菜男 I think it's that pickle guy from the news.
快来 Come on.
赫歇尔格林鲍姆 Herschel Greenbaum!
我们知道你在这里 We know you're out there.
那家伙躲哪里去了？ Where is this guy?
你们好 朋友们 Hello there, dudes.
你是谁？ Who are you?
我是班恩格林鲍姆 I am Ben Greenbaum.
赫歇尔在哪里？ Where's Herschel Greenbaum?
赫歇尔在后面 Herschel is back there.
最好在他逃跑前抓住他 You better get him before he escapes.
我这就去 I'm on it.
－好的 你可以走了 －找到了 - All right. You're free to go. - Found him!
谢谢 Thanks.
好了 起来吧 All right, get up.
我们抓到他了 All right, we got him.
确认了赫歇尔格林鲍姆的身份 We got a positive ID on Herschel Greenbaum.
－你有权保持沉默 －什么？ - You have the right to remain silent. - What?
但你说的每句话 都可能成为呈堂证供 Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
为您插播一则新闻 And now, breaking news.
我是苏珊奥马利 This is Susan O'Malley standing inside
位于曼哈顿联邦法院大楼 the Manhattan Federal Courthouse
报导本世纪最离奇的审判 for what has been labeled one of the most bizarre trials of the century.
赫歇尔格林鲍姆 Herschel Greenbaum has been deemed
遭到全美厌恶 a persona non grata on American soil.
他的驱逐出境审判 His deportation trial got off to a strange start
一开始就十分古怪 as his lawyer put forth a truly unexpected defense,
他的律师提出了 His lawyer made a complaint
很反常的辩护词 A very perverse defense
表示赫歇尔格林鲍姆 that Herschel Greenbaum was not,
其实并不是赫歇尔格林鲍姆 in fact, actually Herschel Greenbaum.
这是班恩格林鲍姆 This is Ben Greenbaum.
这是跟他交换身份的赫歇尔 This is Herschel who switched places with him
诚如各位所见 because as you can see
赫歇尔格林鲍姆有胡子 Herschel Greenbaum has a beard
我的委托人班恩却没有胡子 whereas my client, Ben, has no beard.
我反对 法官大人 I object, Your Honor.
我们会开启什么样的先例？ What precedent are we setting here?
被告其实不是真的被告吗？ That the defendant isn't actually the defendant?
那也许查尔斯曼森 Well, then, maybe Charles Manson
其实不是查尔斯曼森 wasn't actually Charles Manson.
我很快演示一下 Let me try something really fast.
我是我 你们认识的我 So I'm me, I'm me, the guy you know.
这是另一个人吗？ Is this a new guy?
因此我提议驳回被告的辩词 With that, I move to dismiss the defense's entire case.
我同意 休庭 Granted.Court adjourned.
赫歇尔很快被送上了船 Herschel was quickly put on a ship
遣返回东欧 back to Eastern Europe
回到他的祖国施洛普斯克 returning to his home country of Schlupsk.
现在美国终于可以重回平静 And with that, America can finally rest easy.
令人憎恨的赫歇尔格林鲍姆 The abomination known as Herschel Greenbaum
永远无法破坏我们伟大的国土了 will never wreak havoc on our great land ever again.
镜头交还给你 吉姆 Back to you, Jim.
莎拉 Oh, Sarah.
布普 巴普 我 班恩格林鲍姆所画
布普巴普 "Boop. Bop."
不好意思 你们会说英语吗？ Excuse me, do you speak English?
不好意思 你们好 Excuse me. Hi.
你们会说英语吗 不会吗？ Do you guys speak English? No? No?
谢谢‥ Thank you. Thank you.
你好 不好意思 Hello.Excuse me?
打扰了 你好 Excuse me, hi.
我需要帮助 我很冷 I need help. I'm very cold.
你知道谁可以帮我吗？ 我能到哪里寻求援助？ Do you know where maybe they'll help me?Do you know where I could go for some help?
谢谢你 Thank you.
（外语）
我只会说英语 对不起 I only speak English. I'm sorry.
你是犹太人吗？ You are Jew?
－对 －我们需要十名犹太男子 -Yeah. -We are need ten Jew men
组成主礼组 for make minyan
诵读哀悼者的圣颂 for Kaddish.
为亡者祝祷 Prayer for dead.
我一个祝祷词也不知道 很抱歉 I don't know the words to the prayers. I'm sorry--
没关系的 Is fine!
（外语）
阿门 Amen.
你还好吗？ Are you okay?
还好 我也失去了一些人 Yeah, I've...I've lost some people.
谁？ Who?
我的父母 My parents.
（外语）
你好 Hello.
我是赫歇尔 Is Herschel.
我看出来了 Yeah, I figured that out.
艾蕾莎告诉我怎么飞到这里来 Alexa tell me how to fly here.
真的很抱歉对你使用了暴力 I am truly sorry for doing violence to you.
接着害你被驱逐到施洛普斯克 And getting you deported to Schlupsk.
我错了 I was wrong.
没关系的 It's okay.
不能没关系 Is not okay.
我看错你了 I was wrong about you.
布普 巴普 我 班恩格林鲍姆所画
我以为你不在乎家人 I thought you did not care about family.
但我现在明白 你做的布普巴普 But now I see with your Boop Bops,
是为了向家人致敬 you were just trying to honor family.
这就是你不卖布普巴普的原因 This is why you do not sell Boop Bops
你整天独自坐在家 不是因为你是懦夫 and you sit alone all day.Not because you are coward.
你不卖布普巴普 是因为你害怕让家人失望 You not sell Boop Bops because you are afraid to let down family.
但你没有 But you do not.
我从未见过你父亲或母亲 I never met mother or father,
但他们会以你为傲 but they would be proud.
莎拉也会以你为傲 Sarah would be proud.
我非常以你为傲 I am very proud.
你实现了我的誓言 You make my vow come true.
你是我所期望的家族的未来 You are everything I hoped family would become.
谢谢你 Thank you.
来吧 All right. Come.
我想带你去一个地方 I would like to show you some place.
这地方真的很棒 This place is really nice.
我真的懂了 I really get it.
这里非常特别 It's very special place.
这是莎拉最喜欢的地方 This was Sarah's favorite place.
她很有品味 She had good taste.
她知道你来看过这个地方 肯定会很开心 She would be very happy to know you see this place.
我也很高兴能看到这里 I'm glad I got to see it.
我前几天想到了一个主意 You know, I had an idea the other day.
什么主意？ What? What is idea?
你保证不笑我？ Promise not to laugh?
我保证 I promise.
人们热爱你的泡菜 Okay, so people love your pickles.
没错 真的很爱 They do. It's true.
怎么吃都吃不够 Can't get enough of 'em.
是盐水 让人为之疯狂 It's the brine. It make people go crazy.
我擅长网路的东西 And, you know, I'm good with the internet,
很会架设网站之类的 good at building websites, things like that.
所以我想 也许我能架一个网站 So I thought maybe I can build a website,
我们将你的泡菜卖到世界各地 we sell your pickles to people all around the world.
家族企业 Family business.
对 家族企业 Yeah. Family business.
你现在可以腌的东西不止小黄瓜 You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days.
还可以腌西瓜 腌草莓 You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries.
人们现在腌水果吗？ They pickle fruit these days?
是啊 你以为各种奶够多了吗？ Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot?
看看他们腌了什么吧 Wait till you hear what they're pickling.
我以为我弄清楚了 Just when I think I figure it out,
但哪想得到竟然有腌西瓜 you throw a pickled watermelon at me. I'm like, "Oof!"
外头的世界可疯狂了 It's a crazy world out there, man.
很多人依然非常讨厌赫歇尔 Many people still hate Herschel very much.
－这倒是真的 －我说了很多糟糕的话 -That is true. - I say many terrible things.
在美国 若要说有什么真理 And if one thing true - in America,
一旦说出了糟糕的话 就永远无法成功 once you say terrible things, you will never be success.
这不是真的 完全不是 That is not true. At all.
这倒是个好消息 Oh, that's great news.
但我们还是应该道歉 Still, we should make some apologies.
我只知道无论接下来要做什么 All I know is that whatever we do next,
我们都应该携手努力 we should do it together.
携手努力吗？ Together?
对啊 Yeah.
携手努力 Together.
莎拉格林鲍姆
你想祈祷吗？ Do you wanna pray?
你不介意吧？ You do not mind?
不介意 I don't mind.
（外语）
阿门 Amen.
我好喜欢她 I like her very much.
－芭芭拉史翠珊？ －对啊 - Barbra Streisand? - Yes.
她叫芭芭拉史翠珊啊 This her name? Barbra Streisand.
芭芭拉‥ Babs. Babs.
－她非常漂亮 －没错 - She very pretty. - Oh, yeah.
－是犹太人吧？ －是的 -She is Jew. -Oh, yes.
她是犹太人 She is a Jew.
非常犹太 Very much Jew.
很诱人的特质 打扮成男孩去犹太学校 Very attractive trait,dress like boy to go to yeshiva.
－我也一直这么说 －像个犹太小男孩 -I've always said that. -She little Jew boy.
穿得像个犹太小男孩 衣服底下却是个犹太小女人 She dress like little Jew boy.But little Jew woman underneath there.
－我很喜欢这部电影 －你给这部电影上了全新的色彩 -I like this film very much. -You're really coloring it in a new way.
－非常淘气 －依你的叙述 超淘气的啊 -It's very naughty. -It is super naughty the way you describe it.
－她结婚了吧？ －对 - She is married. - She is.
总有一天 芭芭拉史翠珊 One day, Barbra Streisand.
总有一天 One day.